Today was a beautiful day. Sun was shinning, birds were singing. Up early and anxious to get to work! I love my job and really look forward to going there. I work for a doctor and see people all day long. It keeps my mind busy. As I was driving home in my car,something hit me like a brick. I didn't want to go home. To what an empty house? Clean some more ! Oh, for the first time, I was mad. Mad that my life was as it is. Mad that Joe died on me . I never felt this anger before, What the hell is wrong with me. Is this normal? Anyway, I went home to that empty house. Thank you God for my friends. I wasn't home 20 minutes before my best friend called. Lets go for a ride. I really didn't want to, I would have preferred to stay home and feel sorry for myself, but I am too smart for that-- shake your thoughts away and go. Or you'll be sorry! I confessed to my friend that for the first time I was mad! I didn't want to be mad but I was mad. Why did this have to happen. I was so happy in my little world. Well this is my little world now. I need to fight myself to stay strong. I need to smile even when my heart is broken. I need to be very busy even when I am tired. I need!